Tuesday, May 26, 2015

Tumors are stable

So the scans showed that there was no reduction in any of the rumors but they are all stable which is still a win. I however can feel the tumor in the breast and it feels both smaller and has changed shape. 

Oncologist says if the scans show everything is stable on the next scan, we will look at stopping the chemo and putting me on a maintenance drug. 

As many of you know, we had been wondering if and when I would end up having surgery, but looks like that is out of the picture unless I have a problem with the tumor like is starts causing pain or something. At stage 4 there is no advantage to having it. So me and my tatas will finish out this journey together. 

So here is my own personal guess. I think because of I can actually feel changes in the tumor I may have more shrinkage next scan. And as much as I am ready to stop chemo, I want the tumors to completely go away or at least be as small as possible. So I'm going to be doing whatever I can to make that happen.  

If you had a year to live

Let me say right away, NO this is not some sort of prognosis about my own illness, so breath. I have chemo today and have to take a steroid which has had me up since 2 AM. I was listening to a podcast and without explaining the whole show which would take too long and really isn't relevant, it sparked the question how would you live your life if you only had one year to live. 

Now if you had received a prognosis due to illness you might just give up and give in, or you might run off to find a witch doctor in a foreign jungle in hopes of a cure. But let's take all that out of the equation. You are not sick. You can not be cured. You're not going to have a heart attack or some other preventable malady. One day next spring, you simple will not wake up. It can not be prevented or undone. 

So how would you choose to live your life? Take time to think about it. Sit with it until you connect with it on an honest emotional level. 

I invite you to respond. I will share my response in a couple days and we will see both how differently we may react, as well as what connects us all in this human experience. 

Thursday, May 21, 2015

On the road again...

Time for my next 6 week scan tomorrow. It's a bit of a hassle driving two hours up and two hours back from Tampa for what is literally a 5 minute or less scan, but I don't mind. This is how I get the good news that my cancer is shrinking and eventually......going, going, gone! So time for everybody to muster up all their good energy and help me send cancer on its way. I will head up again on Tuesday to get the results of the scan and my next round of chemo. Thanks for the love and support you have all given me. I will share another update on Tuesday.

Sunday, May 10, 2015

The Fog is Lifting

So typically the weekend after chemo is usually my "down" time. The time when I feel worst. The brain fog and metal mouth settle in and I just feel like vegging in front of the TV or with a good book. It's hard to concentrate for long periods of time on any one thing and I forget words mid-sentence. Everyone experiences this from time to time. So just imagine a very intensified version of this coupled with getting agitated for absolutely no reason and everything tasting like garbage and you might start to wrap your head around chemo a little. The good news is the fog and the metal mouth are starting to lessen already and I was lucky enough to have both a productive and relaxing weekend. After having such an awesome time last weekend with the henna crown party, henna artist Zachari VanDyne, party planner extraordinaire Jenn Blosser and myself met on Friday to explore how we could offer this empowering experience to those dealing with hair loss due to illness in our community. Check out our new Facebook page. https://www.facebook.com/hennaforhope Help us get the word out. Please don't just like us. Share the page. You may not live here locally, but someone you know, or someone your friends know, and so on, just might. Saturday started off with an acupuncture treatment at GoodMedicine. If you haven't been, you should definitely check it out. A great service provided by really great people. The rest of the day me and my couch got real cozy as I watched, mostly with one eye open, some tv and napped. Today I spent time with my blessed church community and then enjoyed lunch with good friends. Now I am off to cook dinner and spend time with my beloved.