tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36592258451634767212024-03-12T23:03:43.973-04:00Eco-evolveAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04681259529034699090noreply@blogger.comBlogger62125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3659225845163476721.post-65018573117740299172016-09-30T22:00:00.000-04:002016-10-20T13:08:23.662-04:00September 30 - Rio ChamaAs I start to wrap up my time out west and begin my journey back towards home, I have stopped at the Rio Chama Campground in northern New Mexico. This is a special place for me. First it is located in New Mexico. We lived here for six years and I will always have a fondness for this place. They call it the land of enchantment and it hooked me hard. I don't think it will ever let go. Nor do I want it to.<div>
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The second reason is that this particular place is where I spent part of my time while on a Vision Quest a little over two years ago, just before my cancer diagnosis. I believe that my time spent in these canyons is part of the reason I was able to deal with my disease in such a positive manner and mostly why I was able to receive it as the gift that it is. </div>
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I know that it is hard for many people to understand and accept a life threatening disease as a gift, but it truly can be if you open yourself to it. Some people I have discussed this with get it and choose to grab life by the horns, like my good friend Suess Karlsson, author of a series of journals for living with cancer called <a href="https://www.amazon.com/s?ie=UTF8&page=1&rh=n%3A283155%2Cp_27%3ASuess%20Karlsson" target="_blank">Relentless Hope</a>. How perfect are those words, relentless hope, for the way I choose to approach LIVING with cancer. </div>
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So many people hear the words cancer and immediately feel like they have received a death sentence. Please don't feel like I am minimizing anyone's individual situation. This is an ugly disease and it kills many people. But the way in which you respond to your diagnosis can have a major affect on your length of life. More importantly it can have a drastic affect on your quality of life. So no matter what your diagnosis is don't just give in to the depressing statistics and automatically think your life is over. If I did, I probably wouldn't be here today to tell you that you too are allowed to LIVE with relentless hope. </div>
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When I arrived last night in the dark, I turned off headlights as not to disturb other campers. I used my headlamp to find a campsite, and took the first one I found available, set up my tent and went to bed. I slept soooo good listening to the gently roaring river. </div>
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When I awoke to the beautiful song of birds praising the morning light, I discovered I was in the same campsite I had been in two years ago. It was and still is the best of the dozen sites because it is the only one where the river is both visible and easily accessible. I moved my tent so I could wake to this amazing view. </div>
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<img border="0" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-9CrDUywrBlE/WAj2jf3ZX9I/AAAAAAAABF8/MvP26F48qR4VhWAzwMtFJrbe3-8BoY3lgCLcB/s200/IMG_2100.JPG" /><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-xXfmpbyvuhw/WAj2_rh-2LI/AAAAAAAABGE/mGNH4XOqLm4Kwu-mI08Z1VdmlwFRG3bmQCLcB/s1600/GOPR0762.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-xXfmpbyvuhw/WAj2_rh-2LI/AAAAAAAABGE/mGNH4XOqLm4Kwu-mI08Z1VdmlwFRG3bmQCLcB/s200/GOPR0762.JPG" /></a></div>
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I spent the day hiking, picking sage, reading, playing music, writing and making jewelry. Life is good.</div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04681259529034699090noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3659225845163476721.post-28780326894475542392016-09-29T22:00:00.001-04:002016-10-10T21:45:18.302-04:00September 29 - Canyon of the Ancients and Mesa VerdeI woke at dawn, had some breakfast and headed off into Canyon of the Ancients. This is Bureau of Land Management property and is full of Cliff Dwellings and pueblo ruins but they are not published so you are on your own in trying to find them.<br />
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I again ran into the problem, that without binoculars, everything looks like it might be something here. I exhausted myself running up and down trying to find something, anything. The only thing I ran across was an area that just didn't feel natural to me and I began to wonder if ancient peoples had actually created what looked like a damned up area to trap water in.<br />
<br />
After a few hours, I found myself getting upset. Why couldn't find a single ruin in this place that supposedly had thousands? I would have been happy with even the smallest of ruins. And then I stopped.<br />
<br />
Why was I getting upset about this? Why couldn't I just enjoy the adventure of it, set in this wonderful landscape? What was really going on here? Did I think that I was special? That I SHOULD find something? That is was owed to me somehow? Was it a reaction to reading that most people would walk right by them without ever seeing them and thinking, "Hey, I'm not most people, so that doesn't apply to me."<br />
<br />
What was it I was really looking for? In fact, why am I even on this journey? And then I began to sob and just let the emotions run out of me. I didn't try to sort them out or address them in any way. I just felt them.<br />
<br />
I want to feel like I really lived before a I die.<br />
I want to do something special in this world even if nobody else ever knows about it.<br />
I am constantly conscious that I have cancer and fear that it will rear its ugly head again.<br />
I am afraid to start any new long term goals because I feel like I've had to put my life on hold every time I felt like I was starting to move forward and gain some momentum toward something I wanted.<br />
I constantly feel like I should be doing something but don't know what it is.<br />
I am afraid of being successful because I will become overwhelmed and it will take all of the joy away and become a job.<br />
I love good hard work, but I hate having a job.<br />
I am simultaneously thankful and pissed off I have cancer.<br />
I understand that having cancer in no way guarantees to shorten or extend my life anymore that the possibility of getting into a car wreck, getting some other life threatening disease or getting shot by some nut job, yet it is always in the back of my mind.<br />
There is not a single day that goes I don't feel the lump in my breast or check my armpit for swollen lymph nodes, look at the dark circles under my eyes and wonder if my sinuses are acting up or is this a sign that my tumor markers are increasing.<br />
I simultaneously feel surrounded by the most loving and supportive community and yet have a deep sense of being alone. This is not because of the cancer but stems from somewhere else and I am grateful for people who have recognized this in me, like Janet Weisberg for instance, because I at least know it is not all in my head.<br />
I am not afraid of death but I am not ready to die.<br />
I am not ready.<br />
I<br />
Am<br />
NOT<br />
Ready!!<br />
<br />
Now before You begin to feel sad for me, please understand.<br />
<br />
This is what the journey is about. This is why I came. Not to run around seeing National Parks. But this exploration. This rawness. It's exactly what I want. What I need.<br />
<br />
So that being said, I hiked back to the car, had lunch and decided to move on. I didn't know where I was going at the moment, but as I drove I saw signs for Mesa Verde and decided I would see some Cliff Dwellings after all.<br />
<br />
When I arrived all but one of the sights which required a Ranger guide was sold out but as it happens the one left was considered the "most adventurous". I had plenty of time before the guided tour, so I was able to meander around the park and enjoy the day.<br />
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<img border="0" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-al5fLxxE2sw/V_w_LUF7EBI/AAAAAAAABEc/m_hJjLchG6gxU-dkEwJTxMIooQDAgr9MwCLcB/s200/IMG_2029.JPG" /> <img border="0" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-_YviLY-syW8/V_w_LVNCzyI/AAAAAAAABEg/nhp96Srbla0OgMx1V4wxZnLzvW4ej2jYgCLcB/s200/IMG_2042.JPG" /></div>
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<img border="0" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-vPV5qPO7PIE/V_w_KdYt9rI/AAAAAAAABEU/oBqyVDdmgYwSkkn3CqxWajN-sxQn3COJwCLcB/s200/IMG_2039.JPG" /> <img border="0" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-hzrK_KLwhfs/V_w_Kuecm4I/AAAAAAAABEY/oIrUo85Ba9okmyR1jVIOkOGvk9amDWfpwCLcB/s200/IMG_2037.JPG" /></div>
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When I arrived for the guided tour, it was lightly raining, but everyone was in good spirits despite the weather. We had to climb a 32 foot ladder, make our way through some very narrow passages, climb two more shorter ladders, and climb a very narrow stair up a 60 foot rock face. It was great fun and the Ranger was great.<br />
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<img border="0" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-vQka3BKY5tE/V_xArN-YjVI/AAAAAAAABFA/8aVKOX9SbEoKXKnG9pD9oi_05XTk5XkgACLcB/s200/IMG_2079.JPG" /> <img border="0" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-r4qdxEj16AU/V_xAp4_vnJI/AAAAAAAABE4/2kcx_PZx5Io0rCW3yam3aeqDn_kmFc6_QCLcB/s200/IMG_2046.JPG" /></div>
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<img border="0" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-rH6JXx5PKkk/V_xArEu1X9I/AAAAAAAABFE/Nr4k0ocQxLYMcM4dTgDGQZwpZPtntXUMwCLcB/s200/IMG_2070.JPG" /> <img border="0" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-8yeP1dAA_Gw/V_xAp2C8q0I/AAAAAAAABEs/rx0I65HwmpwvNhAZRR-MQl7f_IFuLLiBgCLcB/s200/IMG_2057.JPG" /> </div>
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<img border="0" height="240" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ixL6l8W2Ny8/V_xAqLdAAYI/AAAAAAAABE0/IOpgW0B_pn8rXKlyenoXLny0TxFkG9nSQCLcB/s320/IMG_2067.JPG" width="320" /></div>
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Spruce Tree House was closed for the day. Still really cool to see from far away.<br />
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<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-fNNl7BdZROI/V_xAq0bM3jI/AAAAAAAABFI/Wz0doYnDu6khuMwuqPS_iaw587-uH2q-QCLcB/s1600/IMG_2085.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-fNNl7BdZROI/V_xAq0bM3jI/AAAAAAAABFI/Wz0doYnDu6khuMwuqPS_iaw587-uH2q-QCLcB/s320/IMG_2085.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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What a wonderful day full of wonder and mystery both inside and out. As it turns out, I discovered that these ancient people did in fact dam off waterways to collect and retain water for their use. So when it comes down to it, what I discovered was probably even harder to identify than a cliff dwelling or ruin. Yet another lesson to be thankful for the moment and to let go of preconceived notions of what should be. Off to Rio Chama Campground for a few days of camping.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04681259529034699090noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3659225845163476721.post-48927277848686009732016-09-29T22:00:00.000-04:002016-10-10T21:44:36.160-04:00September 29 - Canyon of the Ancients and Mesa VerdeI woke at dawn, had some breakfast and headed off into Canyon of the Ancients. This is Bureau of Land Management property and is full of Cliff Dwellings and pueblo ruins but they are not published so you are on your own in trying to find them.<br />
<br />
I again ran into the problem, that without binoculars, everything looks like it might be something here. I exhausted myself running up and down trying to find something, anything. The only thing I ran across was an area that just didn't feel natural to me and I began to wonder if ancient peoples had actually created what looked like a damned up area to trap water in.<br />
<br />
After a few hours, I found myself getting upset. Why couldn't find a single ruin in this place that supposedly had thousands? I would have been happy with even the smallest of ruins. And then I stopped.<br />
<br />
Why was I getting upset about this? Why couldn't I just enjoy the adventure of it, set in this wonderful landscape? What was really going on here? Did I think that I was special? That I SHOULD find something? That is was owed to me somehow? Was it a reaction to reading that most people would walk right by them without ever seeing them and thinking, "Hey, I'm not most people, so that doesn't apply to me."<br />
<br />
What was it I was really looking for? In fact, why am I even on this journey? And then I began to sob and just let the emotions run out of me. I didn't try to sort them out or address them in any way. I just felt them.<br />
<br />
I want to feel like I really lived before a I die.<br />
I want to do something special in this world even if nobody else ever knows about it.<br />
I am constantly conscious that I have cancer and fear that it will rear its ugly head again.<br />
I am afraid to start any new long term goals because I feel like I've had to put my life on hold every time I felt like I was starting to move forward and gain some momentum toward something I wanted.<br />
I constantly feel like I should be doing something but don't know what it is.<br />
I am afraid of being successful because I will become overwhelmed and it will take all of the joy away and become a job.<br />
I love good hard work, but I hate having a job.<br />
I am simultaneously thankful and pissed off I have cancer.<br />
I understand that having cancer in no way guarantees to shorten or extend my life anymore that the possibility of getting into a car wreck, getting some other life threatening disease or getting shot by some nut job, yet it is always in the back of my mind.<br />
There is not a single day that goes I don't feel the lump in my breast or check my armpit for swollen lymph nodes, look at the dark circles under my eyes and wonder if my sinuses are acting up or is this a sign that my tumor markers are increasing.<br />
I simultaneously feel surrounded by the most loving and supportive community and yet have a deep sense of being alone. This is not because of the cancer but stems from somewhere else and I am grateful for people who have recognized this in me, like Janet Weisberg for instance, because I at least know it is not all in my head.<br />
I am not afraid of death but I am not ready to die.<br />
I am not ready.<br />
I<br />
Am<br />
NOT<br />
Ready!!<br />
<br />
Now before You begin to feel sad for me, please understand.<br />
<br />
This is what the journey is about. This is why I came. Not to run around seeing National Parks. But this exploration. This rawness. It's exactly what I want. What I need.<br />
<br />
So that being said, I hiked back to the car, had lunch and decided to move on. I didn't know where I was going at the moment, but as I drove I saw signs for Mesa Verde and decided I would see some Cliff Dwellings after all.<br />
<br />
When I arrived all but one of the sights which required a Ranger guide was sold out but as it happens the one left was considered the "most adventurous". I had plenty of time before the guided tour, so I was able to meander around the park and enjoy the day.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<img border="0" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-al5fLxxE2sw/V_w_LUF7EBI/AAAAAAAABEc/m_hJjLchG6gxU-dkEwJTxMIooQDAgr9MwCLcB/s200/IMG_2029.JPG" /> <img border="0" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-_YviLY-syW8/V_w_LVNCzyI/AAAAAAAABEg/nhp96Srbla0OgMx1V4wxZnLzvW4ej2jYgCLcB/s200/IMG_2042.JPG" /></div>
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<img border="0" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-vPV5qPO7PIE/V_w_KdYt9rI/AAAAAAAABEU/oBqyVDdmgYwSkkn3CqxWajN-sxQn3COJwCLcB/s200/IMG_2039.JPG" /> <img border="0" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-hzrK_KLwhfs/V_w_Kuecm4I/AAAAAAAABEY/oIrUo85Ba9okmyR1jVIOkOGvk9amDWfpwCLcB/s200/IMG_2037.JPG" /></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
When I arrived for the guided tour, it was lightly raining, but everyone was in good spirits despite the weather. We had to climb a 32 foot ladder, make our way through some very narrow passages, climb two more shorter ladders, and climb a very narrow stair up a 60 foot rock face. It was great fun and the Ranger was great.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<img border="0" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-vQka3BKY5tE/V_xArN-YjVI/AAAAAAAABFA/8aVKOX9SbEoKXKnG9pD9oi_05XTk5XkgACLcB/s200/IMG_2079.JPG" /> <img border="0" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-r4qdxEj16AU/V_xAp4_vnJI/AAAAAAAABE4/2kcx_PZx5Io0rCW3yam3aeqDn_kmFc6_QCLcB/s200/IMG_2046.JPG" /></div>
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<img border="0" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-rH6JXx5PKkk/V_xArEu1X9I/AAAAAAAABFE/Nr4k0ocQxLYMcM4dTgDGQZwpZPtntXUMwCLcB/s200/IMG_2070.JPG" /> <img border="0" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-8yeP1dAA_Gw/V_xAp2C8q0I/AAAAAAAABEs/rx0I65HwmpwvNhAZRR-MQl7f_IFuLLiBgCLcB/s200/IMG_2057.JPG" /> </div>
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Spruce Tree House was closed for the day. Still really cool to see from far away.<br />
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<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-fNNl7BdZROI/V_xAq0bM3jI/AAAAAAAABFI/Wz0doYnDu6khuMwuqPS_iaw587-uH2q-QCLcB/s1600/IMG_2085.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-fNNl7BdZROI/V_xAq0bM3jI/AAAAAAAABFI/Wz0doYnDu6khuMwuqPS_iaw587-uH2q-QCLcB/s320/IMG_2085.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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What a wonderful day full of wonder and mystery both inside and out. As it turns out, I discovered that these ancient people did in fact dam off waterways to collect and retain water for their use. So when it comes down to it, what I discovered was probably even harder to identify than a cliff dwelling or ruin. Yet another lesson to be thankful for the moment and to let go of preconceived notions of what should be. Off to Rio Chama Campground for a few days of camping.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04681259529034699090noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3659225845163476721.post-39253289599001892482016-09-28T22:00:00.000-04:002016-10-10T20:32:56.701-04:00September 28 - Butler WashKim ran across a blog by a guy who talked about a few areas to see Cliff Dwellings so I decided to check out one of the areas called Butler Wash. It took a bit to find because the signs for the area are posted up the dirt road rather than out on the main road. I drove down a bit and found a good place to park and possibly camp.<br />
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<img border="0" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ZWVug0qOLUY/V_wtdsJilJI/AAAAAAAABC8/s_J-P81TLZYqyIcTUfsU9x2n-1OAsat7wCLcB/s200/IMG_2014.JPG" /> <img border="0" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-277LA8YMS_c/V_wtdqoWzwI/AAAAAAAABC4/7M_4XJ9jiVETYFbQgjuSUZ16IL2bik9bgCLcB/s200/IMG_2015.JPG" /></div>
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Binoculars would have been very helpful. There are many areas that look like they could be cliff dwellings, but you can't see whether there are any man-made structures within them unless you climb up to them. I climbed all over the place, but alas, I did not find a single ruin. I drove further down the road but could not find an area where I could actually drive down to a campsite. The roads were fairly smooth for the most part, but the brush in the middle of the path is just too high for my low rider. Still it was a beautiful area and well worth further exploration if I am out this way again.</div>
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On my way to my next destination I saw these ruins just off the side of the road. Go figure.</div>
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I drove to Canyon of the Ancients Trailhead, but it is already getting dark so I will sleep in the car and head out in the morning.</div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04681259529034699090noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3659225845163476721.post-45418165773451056602016-09-27T22:00:00.000-04:002016-10-10T19:57:16.278-04:00September 27 - Free Wifi my assAfter leaving Goosenecks I checked the weather and found that I was heading into heavy rains so I decided to check into a hotel which would again allow me to catch up on my blog.<br />
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HA!<br />
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Their wifi was down and never recovered. And as is typical in this part of the country, I had one bar of extended cell service, which means all I could really do is send a text, but nothing using any real data was going to happen.<br />
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Kim sent me a link to an area that has a lot of ancient cliff dwellings and other ruins that I was very near and was on my way to Canyon of the Ancients so I will check it out tomorrow.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04681259529034699090noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3659225845163476721.post-68139999859196218942016-09-26T22:00:00.000-04:002016-10-10T19:48:17.066-04:00September 26 - Monument Valley Navajo Tribal ParkI stopped at Monument Valley located in the Navajo Nation. The Nation owns over 17 million acres of land which encompasses the entire northeastern corner of Arizona and also stretches into Utah and New Mexico. This is just one of the parks that the Navajo Parks and Recreation manage. It is one of the most photographed places on earth and it is not any wonder why, although my pictures don't do it any justice at all. I stopped and spoke with one of the artisans who was selling jewelry for a bit and had a nice conversation.<br />
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On my way out I saw a bunch of horses grazing right off the highway.</div>
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<span style="text-align: left;">And a stone formation called Mexican Hat.</span></div>
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Then made my way to Goosenecks State Park for lunch and a little rest.</div>
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It was a nice relaxing day. I am now on my way to Canyon of the Ancients.</div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04681259529034699090noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3659225845163476721.post-894376625675935012016-09-25T22:00:00.000-04:002016-10-05T12:18:43.625-04:00September 25 - Two washes and one Grand CanyonWhen I left Zion yesterday, I set out to go to Hackberry Canyon for some backpacking, but as I was driving along the fairly maintained Bureau of Land Management road, I came across a nice gentleman who informed me that the road was washed out ahead from the storm that had just passed through. He was in an SUV and could not get through and felt he would warn me, especially because of the type of car I was driving. I was very thankful for this.<br />
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So I headed back west toward the small town I had just passed through to see if I could get some kind of cellular or wifi signal so I could load up a map for my next stop. I intended to go to The Wave Trail, again for some backpacking. Once I got my map loaded I was off. I got there after dark so I thought I would drive to the trailhead and park for the night. As I drove again along a well maintained dirt road, I came suddenly to what looked like about a 6' drop. I saw another road that I thought might be another way around and started to go down it when I saw campers who looked like they were startled and in sleeping bags in what looked like the middle of the road. It was hard to see in the dark. I decided to go back to a campsite I had noticed just a bit down the road for the night and to try it again in the morning.<br />
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The morning revealed yet another wash that had made the road untravel-able to my awesome low riding car. So I went back out to the main road and headed east until I could again find a signal and make a new plan. I ended up at the BLM Visitor center which was not yet open. I was able to use the restroom and ended up having a nice chat with another visitor. I ate some breakfast then took a look at my options. I had never been to the Grand Canyon, which was only about 3 hours away so I decided to go.<br />
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I went to the South Rim and started at the Desert View Tower, which is not a Native American structure but is interesting because it was designed in 1932 by Mary Colter one of the few female architects of her time.<br />
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The Grand Canyon is spectacular . It is dizzi-ing in its depth. When you think you see the bottom, you realize it goes down even further. Words and pictures will never reveal its truth. It is something one must experience.<br />
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I enjoyed my time in the park, took some short hikes, saw some other interesting things beside the canyon itself.</div>
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Then headed back to the tower for some sunset shots and to watch the stars come out.</div>
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It was late, the campground was full and I didn't feel like driving in the dark trying to find a place to camp outside the park, so I slept in the parking lot.</div>
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04681259529034699090noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3659225845163476721.post-3183126424869024682016-09-24T22:00:00.000-04:002016-10-04T14:42:17.478-04:00September 24 - Zion National ParkI arrived at Zion yesterday a little before sundown. I drove through from the west side and took some pictures.<br />
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Then I drove out the east end into Springdale which is a cool little area of gift shops, grocery, cafe, theater, a bar, etc. I hung out for a while and ended up sleeping in the car in the parking lot. And as the customers of the bar emptied out, I realized I was not the only one doing this.<br />
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The next morning I drove in and parked and used the free shuttle system to make my way around the park.<br />
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Bryce canyon is only an hour and a half away, yet it is amazing how different the formations are between these two park. This holds true all through Utah. You drive an hour and the scenery completely changes. Even within Zion it changes drastically throughout the park.<br />
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I hiked down to the river and had my lunch. Very few people wondered down to this area. Probably because of it, I saw several deer. It was so quiet and peaceful, and ended up being my favorite part of the day. The rock in this area looked as though giants took chisels and carved straight down throughout the canyon.</div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04681259529034699090noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3659225845163476721.post-46374291216383712832016-09-23T22:00:00.000-04:002016-10-04T13:50:48.511-04:00September 23 - Bryce Canyon National ParkI woke up early, had a delicious, too big breakfast, and headed to Bryce Canyon National Park. As I headed out of town I could see that there was snow on the mountain tops and a few small areas where it had stuck to the ground in areas that had not yet seen the sun.<br />
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<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-c_we335cP_8/V_Ph1sHRlKI/AAAAAAAAA5A/uzucG-L8POg1i7omjfmBEdqTdPoUe-aBgCLcB/s1600/GOPR0360.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-c_we335cP_8/V_Ph1sHRlKI/AAAAAAAAA5A/uzucG-L8POg1i7omjfmBEdqTdPoUe-aBgCLcB/s200/GOPR0360.JPG" width="200" /></a><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-G17m_UWw0vw/V_Ph11QhR9I/AAAAAAAAA5E/i-PF3vvzmb0aGLro1kcEDIGnfAXdrppZgCLcB/s1600/GOPR0354.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-G17m_UWw0vw/V_Ph11QhR9I/AAAAAAAAA5E/i-PF3vvzmb0aGLro1kcEDIGnfAXdrppZgCLcB/s200/GOPR0354.JPG" width="200" /></a>I drove through Red Canyon which I would like to revisit. I am always drawn to the red canyons, especially if blended like the brick red and grayish green areas found in northern New Mexico.<br />
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Bryce Canyon is known for being the largest collection of Hoodoos (odd-shaped pillars of rock left standing from the forces of erosion) in the world. Pictures do not do it justice.</div>
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One of the first areas I came to, I decided to take a hike and as I often do, or should I say don't, I didn't bother to look at the guide map for the park so I had no idea how long this trail was. Four hours later, I returned to my car. It was an awesome hike, I was totally prepared with water, food, etc. but I'm not going to lie. It kicked my ass. Living about 5' above sea level does not help when you are hiking about 8500' sea level. Still, it was totally worth it.</div>
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So I drove around the rest of the park and saw some awesome things like the Natural Bridge, but that was the end of the hiking for the day.<br />
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On to Zion.<br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04681259529034699090noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3659225845163476721.post-40103227829657368702016-09-22T22:00:00.000-04:002016-10-04T12:44:29.205-04:00September 22 - Violence, violence and more violenceSo I have decided to stop and take a couple days to catch up on my blog, take a shower, my first in a week and a half, and take a look at where I am headed. I first checked the room out to make sure it is clean as I think we all do, then decided to just watch a little TV and chill a while before getting to work.<br />
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As the TV came on I was greeted with the latest police shootings, I turned the channel, a movie about war, next a cop show investigating a murder, violence again and again, Housewives of whatever city screaming at each other, click, cartoons, yes, even the cartoons. I eventually settled for American Pickers.<br />
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Look I readily admit I'm not typically put off by violence. I love movies like Pulp Fiction and Natural Born Killers, TV shows like The Walking Dead for their look into the human psyche. Maybe it's just from being immersed in nature and away from television and the internet for the most part. But, on second thought, there is plenty of violence in nature. I watched a magpie rip apart a lizard and eat it.<br />
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Maybe the difference is that for the most part, that violence has a purpose rather than the senseless violence we are so often subjected to through the media. Human beings shooting each other in the real world just never makes sense to me. Watching grown, bottle blond, botox injected, gold-digging women pretend to be friends, until they have too much to drink, scream at each other over stupid shit is not entertainment and I don't understand a world where people are mesmerized by this.<br />
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As far as the cartoons, I can't speak much to this. I don't have kids and I don't watch them myself. I'm sure there are some that have some mild violence as they make an attempt to portray the age old battle of good versus evil, but I'm sure there are plenty that just have gratuitous violence for what purpose I am unsure.<br />
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I'm not trying to pass judgement. I don't have any answers. It's just an observation as I come out of the woods and back into "civilization".Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04681259529034699090noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3659225845163476721.post-16277124710186485562016-09-21T22:00:00.000-04:002016-09-23T11:54:54.821-04:00September 21 - Moqui BallsI set out early this morning for a hike to collect Moqui Balls. It ended up being a 5 mile round trip and sprinkled off and on all day. So, what are these Moqui Balls? They are concretions — sandstone balls cemented by a hard shell of iron oxide minerals. Recently look-alikes were discovered on mars. Here is an article that was shared with me if you are into the science aspect. Thanks Jen.<br />
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<a href="http://www.livescience.com/47936-how-moqui-marbles-form.html" target="_blank">Mars on Earth: How Utah's Fantastical Moqui Marbles Formed</a><br />
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The spiritual aspect of the balls also called Shaman Stones are as follows to name a few:<br />
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<li>Helps in meditation</li>
<li>Balances energy/chakras</li>
<li>Helps unblock psychic visions</li>
<li>Relieves physical discomfort</li>
<li>Excellent tools in Shamanic journeys</li>
<li>Healing Stones</li>
<li>Overcome fear, especially of death</li>
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I had ordered some on line in the past to sell at different events I vend at, so when presented with the opportunity to collect my own I was excited. But there is a drawback as well. Is there a moral issue collecting objects like these? Our ancestors collected different objects for spiritual use and that was not an issue. They carved images into rock which we hold in high esteem but if someone does it today it is considered graffiti. How would it be looked on 500 years from now? I am all for protecting our natural resources but who gets to decide what and where something is collected? What is precious and what is not? If I pick up a stone from the riverbed I explored is that a problem? What if that riverbed is in a national park? And what difference does it make if I picked it up here or 50 miles west on protected lands. There is a lot to think about when collecting items of this nature. Ultimately you have to go with your gut. How does it make you feel?</div>
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Yesterday when I was in the ghost town, it was unprotected, and I could have taken many objects like the old canteen leaning against a wall of a structure, but it did not feel right to me. Today I collected Moqui Balls, not in a National Park, and I feel good about it. </div>
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But problem is that today most people don't even stop to think about what is right or wrong. They take and take without ever consulting their conscience or the ramifications of what they are doing physically or energetically. </div>
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When you are in these situations, don't just stop and think. Stop and feel. You will know the truth of what you are doing.</div>
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After checking the weather I found that some bad storms are on the way the next two days and I have decided to get a hotel to wait it out. A shower and bed will be a luxury.</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04681259529034699090noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3659225845163476721.post-52375027426279601942016-09-20T22:00:00.000-04:002016-09-23T11:14:55.628-04:00September 20 - A Day UnplannedToday has been a really great day. I started off thinking I would drive straight to the Escalante area to gather Moqui balls, but life is what happens while you're busy making plans. It has been such an adventure getting here. First I stopped by Blue Valley Ghost Ranch. The town was known a Giles and it appears that there is/was some sort of effort to revitalize it and start some kind of investment opportunity with farming, but the buildings that were there for that also looked abandoned. There were some flyers which I took and will have to look into further.<br />
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The town has an iconic backdrop called Steamboat Point, which was pretty cool.<br />
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At first, as I drove around there wasn't much to see other than a few signs. Then I came upon some old wood posts, but not much else.</div>
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Then I drove by this. You can barely see the partial outline of a structure made of stone.<br />
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So I decided to get out and walk around and see if maybe there were more. The more I walked to more I saw. A whole town started to slowly reveal itself.</div>
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When I left I was rather dusty and was able to stop along this river and wash up. It felt so good.<br />
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Then I stopped at the Fremont Petroglyphs.<br />
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In the historic town of Fruita (not the same as in Colorado) I visited an old schoolhouse.<br />
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Then I visited Capital Reef National Park.<br />
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Drove through the Dixie National Forest where I literally went over a hill and it was just suddenly green. And cows were grazing everywhere and standing in the middle of the road.<br />
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I drove back down and into Grande Staircase-Escalante National Monument and eventually got to the trailhead that was my original destination just as it was starting to get dark.<br />
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What a day. Time for a little dinner and a nice fire before bed.<br />
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"You can't have simultaneous balance and change." <i>Relativity</i> ~ Antonia HayesAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04681259529034699090noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3659225845163476721.post-35309644881669044932016-09-19T22:00:00.000-04:002016-09-23T11:15:37.365-04:00September 19 - Bull Creek Pass Day 2I am half way through a long hike this morning. I say halfway because I followed the dry river bed along the east side of camp up to the north until it came to a long drop. I am on the low side of that drop and it is too high to climb so now I must turn back. So I have found a nice shady spot to rest, have a snack and write a bit.<br />
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I am often attracted to following dry beds. It is often a good place to hunt for stones and most times they lead to interesting places. Following them in the right direction carries the promise of finding water and is also a reminder of the returning rains which will fill the beds again.</div>
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As I travel this path today, looking for stones to use in my jewelry and other creative endeavors, it occurs to me that I am walking among some of the most ancient of beings. Water is, of course, primordial, but it is forming and transforming on a constant basis and in perpetual motion. You can never stand in the same river twice, right? But neither can you stand in the same lake. The water evaporates and is replaced by rains and runoff.<br />
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But rock. That's another story. It too, of course, is ever changing but it is for the most part imperceptible not just to the eye but to a lifetime, a span of lifetimes. Birthed from the molten liquids of the earth, it hardened over millions of years. As the earth's crust moved, shifted, collided forming mountains and valleys. Over millions of years, water and wind have been the ever present busy bodies working to break it back down. If rock stopped forming, eventually it would all end up back in the ocean. Once again a planet of water.</div>
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These layers took several millions of years to form. And several million more to end up as the rubble in the bottom of this river bed.</div>
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If I came back here in 5, 20, 100 years, the changes would be practically indiscernible to me.<br />
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The mountains have a spirit as all things do. They have seen almost everything in the history of the planet. They are a spirit of calm and patience. A reminder that this too shall pass. And they will will be here long after it has.</div>
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As I look up I see two caves and wonder if I stayed here long enough, who would emerge? Brother coyote? Sister fox? How do we know who is brother or sister? Sometimes I hear the moon, sun or sky being referred to as mother or father interchangeably. After sitting with it for awhile this is what I was told.<br />
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What you experience during the first half of the day is Mother Spirit because the dawn gives birth to the sun and a new day. Everything during the second half is Father Spirit for he plants the seed for the promise of a new day. The day is not necessarily split into two equal halves at a precise time. This change between the two is fluid and more of a feeling than a hard rule.<br />
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If you see something during an unusual time of day such as a nocturnal owl during the morning that is its shadow self. The mountains are the ancient ancestors while the plants and animals are more recent ancestors. The aunties and uncles.<br />
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Earth, wind, fire and water are the spirits of change, potentiality, what may be. They each change and are changed by one another.<br />
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I returned to camp and read some more of Ritual by Some. So I will leave you with some quotes from his grandfather I found interesting and hope you do too.<br />
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"Because they do not yet have ears that hear, nor eyes that see what cannot be seen and cannot be heard."<br />
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"Do not let the desires of physical satisfaction temper your warriorship. Remember, our ancestors are spirits. They feed their mind, and that is why they can do things beyond our comprehension."<br />
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"The body is but a garment we give far too much attention to. Leave your body alone and it will align itself to the needs of the spirit that you are."<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04681259529034699090noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3659225845163476721.post-20778864499028928862016-09-18T22:00:00.000-04:002016-09-22T22:19:00.066-04:00September 18 - Bull Creek Pass I stopped for breakfast at <a href="http://www.tamariskrestaurant.com/" target="_blank">The Tamarisk Restaurant</a> in Green River which was a great little place right on the river. I ordered the Huevos Rancheros. I love the dish and had not had it in a long time. It was slightly disappointing, but not because there was anything wrong with the food itself. They put their own spin on it, for instance frying the tortillas, and I was really wanting the traditional dish I had remembered. The restaurant was cute, had a really great vibe and you can't beat the view right on the river.<br />
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Afterward I headed out to Bull Creek Pass which is a scenic back-country bypass. From what I had read I wasn't sure how much of it was going to be drive-able, but I figured I would just go as far as I was able. On the way, I found this scenic view right on the road. It must be pretty active with animals at night.</div>
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When I reached Bull Creek Pass I drove for a while and everything was so open, hot and dry, then I turned a corner and out of nowhere I came upon this great spot with trees.</div>
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I don't know what kind of trees these are. I don't think I've ever seen them but really I like them. They provided a lot of shade. It was a warm day but not scorching. I set up the tent then proceeded to rearrange and organize the stuff in my car. It is amazing how quickly things get messy. I am trying to find a system that works as this is my new normal. </div>
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I spent some time playing my cigar box dulcimer, reading, writing, exploring the dry river bed that runs to the east and south of the campsite which is full of agates. I laid down in the tent for a few minutes and then started hearing some noises. I could tell it was large animals so I waited. Then I heard a moo. About 6 cows had wondered up. They ran off as soon as I tried to get out of the tent to see them. Shortly after I made dinner and a fire, watched the sunset as I played music. It was such a wonderfully relaxing day. I had already decided I would stay here a few days instead of traveling up the byway and making a new camp each day.</div>
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I bought a new sleeping bag rated for colder weather and had put the inflatable mattress in the tent so I think a good night's sleep is ahead. A little reading then lights out. Thank you for this blessed day.</div>
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04681259529034699090noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3659225845163476721.post-88986489862988098442016-09-17T23:30:00.000-04:002016-09-22T21:18:59.088-04:00September 17 - Arches National ParkI arrived at Arches National Park just after the admissions boxes were closed, but the park is open 24 hours so I was able to enter. Despite my joking around about getting in for free on Facebook, my intention was to buy an annual pass here, so even though I did not pay today, I fully intend to still get the pass. I want to support the National Park system and all that they do.<br />
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I felt like I was racing the sun to be able to see as much as possible by the light of the setting sun, yet it was a race I was not really feeling all that competitive about.<br />
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I went through the first few formations, then got to the Windows. There was a primitive trail that went all the way around and I was the only one who walked it, so it was very peaceful. I think a lot of people had come to see the sunset and the moon-rise from sitting in the arch. They all looked like little ants crawling up there.</div>
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It could have been a rather confusing trail, but they did such a great job marking the path with cairns, branches and an occasional sign. It got dark just as I reach the parking lot.</div>
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I went on to Delicate Arch and hiked it under the full moon. Plus I have an awesome headlamp that is as bright as a car headlight which made me very popular with the bats. It also drew the attention of a little fox who was blinded to the fact that I was behind that light until it got about 8 feet away. It was so cute because he was trotting right up to me light he was so glad to see me, until he had on oh shit moment and darted off to the left. He then stopped suddenly and looked back. I spoke to him and when he was satisfied that I was no harm, he trotted off like nothing happened.<br />
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I did not realize how long of a hike this was going to be. It ended up being 3 miles and I think it ended up taking me about 3 hours. Tons of people were hiking back down and it looked like a distant trail of cars going through the mountains. There was an old ranch and some petroglyphs on the way up. It pooped me out but it was totally worth it.<br />
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Next up was the Sand Dune Arch and the moment I knew why I was called to come here, even in the dark. This magical place....<br />
Imagine walking into a 3 foot wide crevasse between two huge rock formations reaching for the sky and after about 50 feet it opens out to what feels like a courtyard. As you continue back it is about 25 feet wide filled with the softest red sand. The view of the sky is a dramatic slip of stars.<br />
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Eventually you will come upon a large arch running parallel to the walls. A warm breeze blew through. It was absolutely spectacular and the energy here was ancient and powerful and I had it all to myself. I laid down in the sand and watched the wonder of the night sky. I believe ritual practice should be kept private so I'll suffice it to say some healing work was done here then I sang a song of thanks to the spirits of this place and the acoustics were amazing. A strong resonant sound without being echo-y. I thought it would be a great place to have a drum circle.<br />
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I wish I had photos and yet at the same time I am glad I do not. I even tried to google some and you can certainly find them, but none are of the way in which I experienced it tonight. I will treasure it always.<br />
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I laid there for some time wondering if this had ever been used as a refuge by Native Americans. Could they have stopped for shelter from bad weather? Could ancient ritual have ever been done here? Was it a sacred site of First Peoples? Was this part of its power?<br />
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Guided by moonlight alone I left and continued on through the sagebrush flats to Broken Arch, then back to my car. I left around 12:30 am and found free camping about 15 minutes down the road. It was sliprock and probably more intended for RVs so I spent another night in the car.<br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04681259529034699090noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3659225845163476721.post-62081022206710527642016-09-17T22:00:00.000-04:002016-09-22T19:42:40.135-04:00September 17 - Colorado National MonumentI had to get up in the middle of the night and move to the car. It really wasn't as cold as it had been the last two nights, but it was just cold enough I couldn't get comfortable. The car, unfortunately, wasn't much better. After three days of not great sleep, I lie there in the wee hours of the morning thinking, "Why am I doing this to myself?" But as with most things in life, the thought passed as the sun shone on a new day. Now as the sun warms my back, I look ahead to new adventures. I am heading into town to restock supplies then heading on to Utah.<br />
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The drive through Colorado National Monument was absolutely spectacular. A couple I had the chance to talk with while at a scenic overview said they actually liked it better than the Grand Canyon because that was just one big canyon, while this was several canyons, so had many more interesting views.<br />
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I saw 4 longhorn sheep up on a ledge. I kept tracing the ridge and ledge lines but I could not for the life of me figure out how they got up there. This is an area I would love to explore more. Living in Fruita or one of the other towns down in the valley would be phenomenal from an outdoor activities perspective. They sit in a long valley created by two huge mountain ranges that just seem to go on and on, with the Colorado River running through the middle of it.</div>
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John Otto called this "the heart of the world" and dedicated his life to protecting and promoting this land. I think you could spend a lifetime exploring here.<br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04681259529034699090noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3659225845163476721.post-3316718969160683562016-09-16T22:00:00.000-04:002016-09-22T18:44:31.669-04:00September 16 - Black Ridge Canyons Wilderness Day 2Waking as the birds start singing their songs in honor of the rising sun, is so peaceful, especially compared to the jolting sound of the alarm clock. I don't care what your ringer is. It's just not natural. I made some oatmeal and hot tea with my awesome $5 biofuel stove. So nice to have when you don't feel like making a fire.<br />
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As I was puttering around, it occurred to me that the road was very drive-able so I decided I would go back and get the car so I could go further up the mountain. I left everything and walked back to the car, drove it back to the campsite in under an hour. The same distance it had taken me a little over 3 hours to hike to yesterday. I need to give myself some time to get in shape and to get used to the altitude in order to actually backpack any real distance.<br />
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So I headed up the mountain in my Scion Xb. If you are familiar with this car, then you know how low it sits to the ground, so the looks I got when other people in their jeeps and trucks and land rovers spotted me was quite amusing. I might have to make a few alterations when I get home to prepare for the second leg of my trip.<br />
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Aaaanyway, the drive up was fun and had a few things in store.<br />
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I found a site with some great views and set up camp. Hummingbird visited while I was putting up the hammock.<br />
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I took a hike and thought I spotted an area down in the canyon that might have water. I was running low and knew I would have to leave tomorrow if I didn't find any. It was also a good opportunity to practice with this great GPS app I had downloaded called Spyglass. I was right about the location of water, but a bit too late in the season. It had all dried up. I sat under a nearby tree and watched a woodpecker for a while then headed back up to camp.<br />
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I had a very relaxing day after that. I played music, looked out at the view, reorganized my car a little and made room in it to sleep in case the weather got bad.<br />
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Made a fire.</div>
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Watched the moon come up.</div>
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Good night beautiful world.</div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04681259529034699090noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3659225845163476721.post-23666280677379967652016-09-15T22:00:00.000-04:002016-09-22T16:24:19.469-04:00September 15 - Black Ridge Canyons Wilderness Day 1I woke just as the sun was beginning to show over the mountains. I kept fairly warm in the car last night even though it was in the low 40s but getting out of the car was very chilly because I still had on my t-shirt, shorts and sandals I was so proud of yesterday.<br />
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I got my backpack all ready, got more appropriately dressed, and set out about 9 am. I hiked for about 3 hours and found a great spot to camp overnight. I had to stop many times and was exhausted by the time I found this site. I hung my sleeping hammock between two Juniper trees which are everywhere here, along with Pinon Pine, sagebrush, cactus and rocks, rocks and more rocks. An impulse buy while stocking up on food and water, this hammock may be my best investment so far on this trip.<br />
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I took a long nap. Afterward, I spent a lot of the day feeling like I should be doing something. That is what western society has done to us. Work, produce, accomplish, succeed, do, do, do. Wake up and start over. When do we have time to dream? To be? This is what I came for.</div>
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I am reading <i>Ritual: Power, Healing, and Community</i> by Malidoma Patrice Some. He talks about pain being, "the result of a resistance to something new - something toward which an old situation or experience resists being replaced by a new one." When someone experiences communication through pain, it is a signal that their soul is in need of communication with its spiritual counterpart.</div>
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I have felt an aching in my soul for years living a life that I didn't feel was fully mine. Although I have much to be thankful for, where was the life I had dreamed of as a kid? Continued to yearning for as an adult? Where am I in the midst of this unauthentic life I am living? As I just begin this year of adventure, this year of outer and inner discovery, I wonder what will be replaced in me.</div>
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04681259529034699090noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3659225845163476721.post-53487139014843502512016-09-14T21:30:00.000-04:002016-09-22T15:34:08.842-04:00September 14 - Boulder, COI woke early this morning, got on the road before the sun came up and arrived in Boulder around noon. The drive in from the east was stark, yet pretty, with open fields of golden hues and mountains far off in the distance, especially with the sun just coming up.<br />
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I drove and drove hoping to find a place to get breakfast, a cup of coffee, a bathroom, for crying out loud, there's nothing but fields and farms and cows, some buffalo, and birds that dart out in front of you from the grass just off the side of the road, and a handful of other cars.<br />
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And really, it is beautiful. I wonder what it is like in the spring. Just make sure you gas up, pee, and grab a beverage and snack before you go.<br />
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Once I got into Boulder, my first stop was Naropa University and the very first thing I did was...yeah, find a bathroom. I knew this was a small school, but wow is it really tiny. Still, it has a program I am really interested in pursuing, so I chatted up some folks, walked around to see the campus, and that was that. Done in less than an hour. Great vibe, didn't get any more information than I started with, but had some interesting conversations with some students. Now had I been able to plan better, they would have arranged a tour of the 3 campuses (don't kid yourself, it's really one campus with 3 clusters of buildings around town), allowed me to sit in on a class, and meet with a professor within my chosen discipline.<br />
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Since the campus is right in the downtown area, I decided to walk around and check it out. It was really clean and very laid back. I did have to laugh though. As I was walking around, I started to notice that I, girl visiting from Florida, was the one in shorts, t-shirt and sandals, as the locals were dressed in their long pants, long sleeve shirts, boots, and jackets. I don't know if they were so much cold, as just happy to be able to wear more fashionable clothes. Even we Floridians enjoy the two weeks out of the year when we get to "dress up".<br />
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I checked out a local eatery called <a href="http://www.shineboulder.com/" target="_blank">Shine Restaurant & Gathering Place</a> which has a 100% Gluten Free and Paleo kitchen. I LOVE this place. This is not that place you take your GF friends and it happens to taste good. It's that place you go because it is awesome and happens to also be GF. They also have a microbrewery and create Potions.<br />
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The place was opened by triplet sisters who also have a GF and paleo cookbook out called Eat, Drink, Shine. Please sisters, come to Cape Coral, Fl. Please.<br />
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After a few hours of looking around the shops and people watching, I heading out of town to the Black Ridge Canyons Wilderness. It was a beautiful drive through the Colorado Mountains.<br />
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I arrived late, but the drive up to the trail head at night had great views of both the mountains and the city down below. I will sleep in the car tonight, and set out backpacking first thing in the morning. </div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04681259529034699090noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3659225845163476721.post-69800913827276937912016-09-13T23:30:00.000-04:002016-09-22T13:41:19.768-04:00September 13 - A Day of DrivingI've spent the last couple days visiting my mom, step-father, and grandma in Paducah, KY. It was great to spend some time with family. While there, I taught a class on reading Runes at <a href="https://www.facebook.com/NiceRockShop/">Wildhair Studios' Rock Shop</a>. If you are in the area stop in sometime. Susan has a really nice place. Thanks to Amber who runs the <a href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/190325798049753/">Paducah Area Pagans and Friends</a> group for helping to set this up. The class was fun for me and I hope everyone got something out of it.
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Mom and Gene took me to see the replicas of Christopher Columbus' ships, the Nina and Pinta, which are fully sail-able ships.<br />
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They were looking for volunteers for a 3 day trip as a cook or deckhand. I filled out the paper work to volunteer, but was not selected. Oh well, maybe next time. And yes, there could be a next time. They run these ships mostly with volunteers although the typical stint is 3 weeks.<br />
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<a href="http://thenina.com/">Check them out</a> when they are in your area, or volunteer for a trip yourself.
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The Pinta with Nina in the background.</td></tr>
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I headed out early this morning to try and get through Kansas and into Boulder, CO at a reasonable hour, so I will have time to visit Naropa University (interest in MA Ecopsychology program) and to look around a bit. Grandma told me there really isn't much to see in Kansas, but I haven't even seen what there isn't to see. It has been raining or dark the whole time I have been here. I've barely been able to make out that there are some kind of fields on either side of the road. The one nice thing so far is that you can camp at the few rest stops I have come across and that is where I am now for the night. Goodnight everybody.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04681259529034699090noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3659225845163476721.post-44358635330234415262016-09-08T09:02:00.000-04:002016-09-08T09:02:05.833-04:00900 miles to get to the beginning...I hope<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-X86N_1jiZ3A/V9Fe8MEhS6I/AAAAAAAAAkE/517vuFOYrFM9MMZ6A8trUlvj_cC8iYR_gCLcB/s1600/900.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-X86N_1jiZ3A/V9Fe8MEhS6I/AAAAAAAAAkE/517vuFOYrFM9MMZ6A8trUlvj_cC8iYR_gCLcB/s200/900.jpg" width="200" height="94" /></a></div>Today will be a week since I dropped off my paperwork to the DMV to register the Subaru and I still have not heard anything from them, even though I was told I should hear something the next day. Even though I have called and left voice mail. Even though I have explained my situation to two different people and just openly asked for their help in dealing with this situation. Yes, I even played the cancer card, which I never do.
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About 2-1/2 weeks ago I brought my Scion xB in to start an oil consumption test which consists of an oil change, driving it about 1200 miles and bringing it back in to check how much oil it drank. Yesterday I still needed about 900 more miles before I could bring it back in. So I drove. I drove about 400 miles starting in the morning and then I went home. I thought I would drive the rest today, but I couldn't sleep, so I got in the car around 11 PM and I drove 500 more miles.
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And now I am sitting in the Toyota dealership blogging once again. First they have to check that the car burned off enough oil to "pass" the test. Then, hopefully, they will fix it. I will go back home and transfer all my gear from one car to the other and I will finally get on the road.
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I have spent the last couple days feeling a bit beat up, essentially because things aren't working out the way I want them to. I didn't want to drive the Scion because it sits so low to the ground in the front. I don't plan on going 4 wheeling, but I didn't even want to take it on dirt roads, but the drive last night served as a great time to clear my head, and remind myself that sometimes obstacles are not things to be overcome. They are messages to take a different approach. I am just not supposed to take the Subaru at this time. I guess we'll see if I am supposed to take the Scion, haha.
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I can definitely say that I have learned that limbo is not a state I am comfortable being in. Hopefully, it will be over soon and I will be out on the open road with the wind blowing in my hair. Or driving on I-75 in bumper to bumper traffic with the AC blowing in my face trying to relieve me from a hot flash. Funny how wonderful that sounds right about now. Stay tuned. Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04681259529034699090noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3659225845163476721.post-89603441651044235422016-08-22T11:45:00.000-04:002016-08-22T11:45:58.770-04:0010 Days and Counting<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-d0gUx9nh_9o/V7seHIVHQxI/AAAAAAAAAjY/bFIkDkFlSu4cRXMWqETbROdJMkDpF8aqwCLcB/s1600/10%2Bdays.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-d0gUx9nh_9o/V7seHIVHQxI/AAAAAAAAAjY/bFIkDkFlSu4cRXMWqETbROdJMkDpF8aqwCLcB/s320/10%2Bdays.png" width="320" height="222" /></a></div>I'm sitting in my local Toyota dealership getting my car serviced and daydreaming about my upcoming trip when it really hit me. I only have 10 days left. It has been a month since I made the decision to go but it has felt like forever. In the beginning, I said it would be about 3 weeks because I had some projects and personal things I needed to wrap up before I went, but I did not set a specific date. Well those 3 weeks have come and gone, of course. Rule number 1 when planning any project. Set a date. If you don't, then you have no accountability, and you will never get around to it. Although I was making some progress, it was only after I set a date that things really started to come together. And luckily I have plenty of good people in my life who will help me to hold myself accountable if I set concrete goals.
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My first stop will be Paducah, KY to visit my mom, stepdad, and grandma. In addition, I will be seeing a friend, Miss Amber Pitt, who has been kind enough to help arrange for me to teach a class on reading Runes at a local shop <a href="http://www.nicerockshop.com/">Wildhair Studios' Rock Shop</a>. Then it's off to Colorado.
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I would like to ask those of you following on my adventure to use the Follow by Email link on the right side of the page. Even though I put these posts on various social media sources, it is easy to miss posts due to the high volume of activity. Since I will be spending a lot of time alone while backpacking, interacting with you when I come out of the woods will help me stay connected to community. You, my tribe. You will simply get a email letting you know I have updated my blog and you can read at your convenience instead of hoping you caught the latest on your social media of choice or having to search for it.
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For those wishing to make monetary donations, I have included a Donations button on the right side of the page as well.
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On a fun note, I am excited by the fact that I actually have people from all over the world who have read my blog at some point. United States, China, Russia, Germany, France, Ukraine, Rwanda (thanks Rosanne), Switzerland, Japan, United Kingdom. Granted none of them are following me yet, but it's just incredible the reach social media has and a reminder of the responsibility we have using it. Our words could actually effect someone on the other side of the world and we will have never met or even know they read them. Use your words well my friends.
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Okay, gotta run. My car is all finished. Until next time.
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04681259529034699090noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3659225845163476721.post-62357522060897625732016-08-19T01:17:00.000-04:002016-08-19T08:14:00.207-04:00Comfortably uncomfortable<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-vS-hHKKPNFM/V7aU_escl5I/AAAAAAAAAi0/WyyW4OJyD081oPwvm1Dx_St_sf20Bpi3ACLcB/s1600/Vulnerability.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-vS-hHKKPNFM/V7aU_escl5I/AAAAAAAAAi0/WyyW4OJyD081oPwvm1Dx_St_sf20Bpi3ACLcB/s320/Vulnerability.jpg" width="320" height="180" /></a></div>I want to start by saying how incredibly blessed I am by all the amazingly supportive people I have in my life. The outpouring of encouragement, the offers of places to stay, putting me in contact with your friends and family members in various places, arranging classes for me to teach, wanting to know how you can support me both figuratively and financially. I am so appreciative of all of you. And because some of you shared my last blog post, it was the one most read to date. I thank you.
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I've had several people ask how they can help. Is there anything I need for the trip? Am I going to have a GoFundMe page? Can they sponsor a part of my trip? Etc. I hadn't actually thought of any of that. One friend suggested I head up my posts with a what I need section as I go along. Another asked if I could add a donation button.
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And again, your generosity is overwhelming.
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If I am honest, this makes me a little uncomfortable. Especially because I feel like I received such an outpouring of love and support after my diagnosis. But I am stretching into being comfortable with feeling uncomfortable. I am so stubbornly independent. It is not just that I find it hard to ask for help, but it often does not even cross my mind as an option. And I am stretching again to embrace my vulnerability. So, yes, I would love the help of anyone who is so inclined to offer. Uh. That's not good enough. It's almost dismissive isn't it? And it certainly is not an ask, is it? This is a really big undertaking. And I am going to need help. I am asking for your help. In any and all forms you are willing to provide it.
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And why is that so hard? And why are there tears? And you are laughing and crying at the same time aren't you?
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Okay. Let's breathe.
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At this moment, I believe I have just about everything I need for the first leg of my trip as I have been an avid camper for years. So my major expenses will just be food and gas. I know that I will need to obtain both a backpacking tent and sleeping bag for cold weather for the second leg which starts in November. I will keep you posted as I go.
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I will look into adding a donation button on the main page, but if that is not possible, I will include something in the individual posts for those who want to make a monetary donation. I thank you in advance. And I will thank you again and probably publicly unless you tell me not to. In the mean time you can send money to angela@eco-evolve.com through PayPal. If you select the send money to friends option, there are no fees and you can also add a note. I will also be posting some of my handmade jewelry for sale on Facebook.
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Some other things that have been mentioned are have you thought about making a documentary? Will you write a book? Have you contacted the local media to do a before and after piece? You're going to take lots of pictures right?
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Wow! While the focus of this trip is not to get caught up in trying to document everything, I certainly do intend to take pictures, journal and blog about my experience. Should that naturally turn into a book then great, but again the intention of the trip is not to go have an experience so I have something to write a book about. Even though I worked in television and could produce a documentary, that requires a lot more equipment than I am not willing to lug around. If you know someone who wants to make a documentary then they can contact me and come join me for segments of the trip, but not the whole trip. Contacting the local media never crossed my mind. But if you know someone who would be interested in doing a human interest piece then by all means have them contact me. I am happy to support others in their endeavors as well.
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So again, thank you all for your kind words of encouragement, your support, your loving embrace. Keep those questions and comments coming.
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04681259529034699090noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3659225845163476721.post-81640784214818073252016-08-17T12:36:00.000-04:002016-08-17T12:49:31.790-04:00My upcoming odyssey<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-oaQJBXvUs5w/V7SGGhbGwJI/AAAAAAAAAiU/th9R88f24uMfzz5ahOy4fzZuIP3CCvyDwCLcB/s1600/the%2Bjourney.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-oaQJBXvUs5w/V7SGGhbGwJI/AAAAAAAAAiU/th9R88f24uMfzz5ahOy4fzZuIP3CCvyDwCLcB/s320/the%2Bjourney.jpg" width="220" height="320" /></a></div>
As far back as I can remember I have wanted to travel. As a young child I remember looking at copies of National Geographic and thinking to myself, I want to go to there. I want to be with those strange and wonderful people with their neck rings and plated lips. I want to climb those mountains and dive in those waters. I want to eat with people, photograph animals, and trek through wildernesses most others will never lay their eyes on. I want to visit some of the most remote areas of the world.
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Fast forward 40 plus years. I have a stage 4 metastatic breast cancer diagnosis. I am doing well. I feel healthy. My doctors agree. Everything is going really well. The thing with this diagnosis however, is that it is terminal. My oncologist looked me straight in the face and told me, "You will die of this disease." It's the when none of us are sure about. And yes, I like to stay positive and be funny about it, telling her that I was going to be a miracle and cure myself. And don't think for a minute that I didn't mean it. But...
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You see just like every other person, I am NOT in control. If I were, I would not have gotten cancer to begin with. I do have strength, I have power, I have choices. So now I will have the strength to say yes to my power and I will make choices that I can LIVE with. So in two weeks, I am going on what a friend called an odyssey. And I liked that.
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For the next year, I will be backpacking around the country. My intention is to see some of the most remote places in the US, while taking time to dive deeper into the most remote places inside of myself. I could go on about what my dreams or expectations for this time are, but as I have learned on other quests, you get what you need, not what you want. Cue the Rolling Stones.
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But I do have some practical desires. While out on the road, I hope to be able to visit friends and family who I have scattered all over the country. I hope to do a couple fun things like go zip lining or sky diving, but funds are very limited so we'll just have to see. It is my dream to guide people through vision quests, rights of passage and similar ventures so this will be a great opportunity to seek out areas where these can take place.
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I am also extending an open invitation to anyone who wants to come out and camp or backpack with me for a short time. I will be heading out to Colorado, Wyoming, Montana and Utah on the first leg of my trip. I am leaving September 1 and have to be back to Florida by October 15th for my quarterly medical checkup. Right now, I think the second leg will start in Washington and take me down along the west coast then into Arizona and Texas as it gets colder. I have pinpointed some of the warmest places to spend winters camping and backpacking. I love you Google. I will be blogging and posting as I go along, so if you want to keep up with my adventures or try and schedule a get together, please follow me on Blogger, Facebook, Google+, or Tumblr.
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So, I am leaving in 2 weeks and I have a ton of stuff to do, so you will see posts from me about things I need help with before I go as well as just getting myself ready for the journey ahead. Please feel free to comment on anything. I love dialog. Your thoughts, feelings, insights, etc. are most welcome. Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04681259529034699090noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3659225845163476721.post-72099093588545864042015-11-29T19:35:00.001-05:002015-11-29T19:35:10.771-05:00You'll get a kick out of this<div>Ok I'm finally getting around to this update I promised. On November 17 I went to Moffitt for blood work, a CT scan and a bone scan. My blood work was excellent. Everything was within normal ranges including my tumor markers. Now tumor markers shouldn't be looked at as an indicator of whether or not you have cancer, but rather how much burden they are putting on your body. So for now I am a much bigger burden on my cancer that it is on me. </div><div><br></div><div>I was told the CT scan looked good. Everything was stable, no new growth. The bone scan was the biggie which indicated that there was a "significant reduction in bone disease". They seemed pretty pumped about that. In fact, they were so excited about that news that they neglected to tell me that the tumor in my breast is half the size it was at my last scan. I read my reports myself or I would not have known. </div><div><br></div><div>So even after being off chemo and without being put on any new cancer drugs, I am still having reduction I my disease. HA cancer, take that. (Strike a ninja pose.) </div><div><br></div><div>So in short, lungs clear, lymph nodes clear, bones getting tremendously better and breast tumor down to about 1 cm from over 6cm. </div><div><br></div><div>I am currently on 3 medications. One for my bones because the chemo can wreak havoc on them and two for hormone suppression because my particular cancer responded to estrogen. These two suck a little bit. The most common side effect is aching joints. I imagine it's very much like arthritis. My joints hurt for no real reason, I get sharp pains if I grab something the wrong way but it feels better the more I move around. </div><div><br></div><div>So watching me get out of bed and come down the stairs in the morning is entertaining. Once I'm up and going I'm fine but once I sit down it doesn't take long to get stiff and ache again. I just do my best to keep busy without overdoing it and try not to sit around without getting up and taking a break from it. </div><div><br></div><div>People keep asking me about my job. Yes I am still teaching...barely. I work less than 10 hours a week and am typically back home by 9AM, which allows me a very flexible schedule for other things. </div><div><br></div><div>I have been doing short term jobs or gigs if you will. Currently I am doing interior design work for a woman who is moving to Cape Coral, repairing a gazebo that has extensive wood rot on the Orange River (tough environment to work in wink wink nod nod). I may be doing an animated video next. </div><div><br></div><div>I also pick up small furniture or other items to repair, refinish or repurpose and have several art projects and jewelry projects going and teach classes about once a month. </div><div><br></div><div>I am really enjoying my life right now. It gives me great flexibility and allows me to do a variety of creative type things which I love. And it keeps me from being bored which happens easily when doing the same old stuff day to day. And so far it is paying the bills. I may not have a lot of extra money right now but I have a lot of extra joy and that's more valuable. </div><div><br></div><div>So if you've got a project that you just haven't gotten around to but would love to get done, call me (picture Leslie Winkle here).</div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-dyVsHV80MJM/VluZvJk4HLI/AAAAAAAAAb4/baYFU1RX2-w/s640/blogger-image-226862177.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-dyVsHV80MJM/VluZvJk4HLI/AAAAAAAAAb4/baYFU1RX2-w/s640/blogger-image-226862177.jpg"></a></div><br></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04681259529034699090noreply@blogger.com0